Same-Sex Marriage: Let it Be

Ahhh, another topic of debate: same-sex marriage. This is a topic that I feel very strongly about so if you have an opposing argument, please share.

I wrote one of my first posts about the separation of church and state because I knew that I would refer back to it in this post. But before I get to that, I think this argument has to begin with people's thoughts on homosexuality.



Most people who disagree with homosexuality and think that it is wrong is because they believe that one is not born gay, but rather chooses that lifestyle. Now can you honestly tell me that with the way that gay people are treated in our society, that every person who is "out of the closet", chose to be so? Give me a break! With the discrimination and hate crimes commited against them, and just the overall disapproval of homosexuality, it is a ridiculous idea to me that someone would voluntary choose that. I'm sure there are many who do choose homosexulity for one reason or the other, but to say that ALL gay people choose to be gay is just outrageous to me. Next thing you'll tell me is that during slavery, black people chose to be black knowing full well the implications of that.

I have heard so many stories of people who try to hide their homosexuality. They try to ignore it and lead a normal life, only to later come out of the closet because they can't take it anymore. Families are torn apart when one parent finally admits to who they are. Just recently on MTV's The Real World, the gay roommate, Davis, was shown crying, stating that he wanted to be straight because life would be so much easier and he could have everything that is considered normal. So please do NOT tell me that being gay is a choice...moving on.

Separation of church and state is an important topic here because the main arguments against same-sex marriage are religious. If you believe that your god thinks that homosexuality is wrong, then that is your right. But to make a law that affects all Americans based on that belief is wrong. What about the homosexual atheist who wants to get married? They can't because the god that you believe in, and they don't believe in, disapproves. How is that fair in ANY way?

By saying that gay people do not have the right to marriage, we are saying they are not considered true American citizens. We are denying them the rights that they deserve. There is a whole list of rights and benefits that they cannot have due to this injustice.



Another argument against gay marriage is that we must preserve the sanctity of marriage. Now first of all, sanctity:

1 : holiness of life and character : GODLINESS2 a : the quality or state of being holy or sacred : INVIOLABILITY b plural : sacred objects, obligations, or rights

Hmmm...sounds a bit religious to me. That alone should make this argument invalid, but I will continue. The U.S. divorce rate is roughly 50%. It sounds to me like straight people aren't doing a very good job of preserving the sanctity of marriage themselves. Americans these days marry multiple times (i.e. Larry King and Elizabeth Taylor), elope while in a drunken state (i.e. Brittany Spears), and commit adultery (i.e. Rudy Giuliani who happens to be running for president!). In my view, there's not much sanctity to preserve, but who is to say that allowing gays to marry takes away from the sanctity in the first place? Two people that love each other and want to make that commitment should be allowed to do so as long as they are human beings.

On a side note, I found it very intriguing that during the Republican debate, most of the candidates stated that the war in Iraq was necessary and that we must do what we can to win it, yet they do not support gays and lesbians openly serving in the military. This was the concensus even with the knowledge that recently nine army linguists were dismissed from the army for being openly gay...at a time when there is a shortage of needed translators and interpretors for the American troops in Iraq. So basically they would rather not have these people who are crucial to the success of the war in Iraq serve in the war, simply because they are gay. Are you kidding me with this?! *sigh*...moving on...

Another argument against marriage that is actually not religious, but very weak, is the definition of marriage itself:

1 a (1) : the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law

...oh but wait...there's more now!:

2) : the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage b : the mutual relation of married persons : WEDLOCK c : the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage2 : an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected; especially : the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities

However there is matrimony: the union of man and woman as husband and wife.

Dictionaries are not written in stone. Our culture continues to evolve and so must everything that documents it. The meanings of words change as we can see in the definition of marriage. The definition of matrimony can easily expand, as have the defnitions for other words. For example....let me just pull one of the top of my head.....oh I dunno, how about "gay"! Didn't that used to mean happy? It still does (although I doubt you would fine many people who still use it that way), but it's meaning also includes:

1 a : happily excited : MERRY b : keenly alive and exuberant : having or inducing high spirits 2 a : BRIGHT, LIVELY b : brilliant in color3 : given to social pleasures; also : LICENTIOUS4 a : HOMOSEXUAL b : of, relating to, or used by homosexuals

So basically, the definition of marriage is whatever we make it.

I do believe that one day gays and lesbians will be given the right to marriage. It was only in 1967 that interracial marrage became legal. I really hope that we can stop judging others based on our own personal religious beliefs and look at each other as human beings who deserve to be treated equally. The discrimination that is being done now is not much different from the kind that has happened in our history. It makes me so sad to see parents teaching their children bigotry and racism. We should know better by now.